Fireside Chat with Aneka Jiwaji
November 3, 2026
"Who says you're not worth it?
Who says you can't be the best?
Who said? Who said?" - Who Says by Selena Gomez
Early in my career, someone once told me I was "too nice to be a lawyer." It made me wonder why we're so quick to define professional success through a single lens, especially in a profession shaped by people with very different strengths, personalities, and paths.
As lawyers, we're often told, explicitly or implicitly, what success should look like: how we should speak, dress, and even look. There is a persistent expectation that we conform to a particular mold in order to be seen as credible or successful.
But who decided that?
That question stayed with me as I got to know Aneka Jiwaji through her thoughtful responses. What stood out most was how grounded she is in who she is, what matters to her, and the life she's intentionally building.
Whether leading a thriving commercial litigation practice, co-founding a women-led law firm, building a fine jewellery business with her sisters, or raising her young son, Aneka approaches each role with purpose and conviction.
What I found particularly refreshing is that she doesn't seem preoccupied with measuring success against someone else's blueprint. Instead, she has defined it for herself.
Fittingly, when asked to leave readers with one word, Aneka chose: Choice.
Aneka's story is a reminder that there is no single path to a meaningful career, a fulfilling family life, or our own equilawbrium. We can learn from one another without becoming one another.
Sometimes the most powerful thing we can do is tune out expectations that were never ours to begin with and trust ourselves to make choices that align with our own values, priorities, and definition of success.
After all, who says there is only one way?
Without further ado, let’s get started.
Part 1 - Introduction
Hi, my name is... Aneka Jiwaji.
Year of call to the Bar: 2016.
Type of practice, your role, and where: I’m a commercial litigator and the co-founder and lead of the Barristers’ Practice at Jiwaji Law, a women-led law firm in Vancouver.
Before starting my own firm in late 2025, I was litigation counsel with the BC Securities Commission and then practised at a top-tier commercial litigation boutique in Vancouver.
I’m also an entrepreneur outside of law. My sisters and I run JAIA, a fine jewellery company focused on creating pieces for professional women.
How many children do you have? I have one son, who is three years old.
What do you do for self-care or stress relief? I have to have a vacation booked. Ordinarily, I try to take at least a week off every quarter. My last proper holiday was in December 2025, just before starting my firm, and I have basically worked non-stop since then, so I am very overdue.
On a day-to-day basis, I try to build the things that make me feel better into my life rather than waiting until I magically have more time. I am pretty diligent about my bedtime. I schedule two strength workouts and a Pilates class into my calendar every week and pay for them in advance, because otherwise work will inevitably take over. I love a long walk, although I don't get out for them nearly as often as I would like, so I have a walking pad under my desk that lets me keep moving throughout the workday.
We also have a rooftop patio at our townhouse and, whenever the Vancouver weather cooperates, I take my laptop up there and work in the sun. I don't know if working technically counts as self-care, but somehow working from my rooftop makes everything feel considerably less stressful.
What would you do for work if you weren’t in the legal profession? Probably something in the performing arts. I grew up as a classical singer and did a lot of acting and theatre, and I have always wondered what would have happened if I had taken that path seriously.
Either that, or I would be an entrepreneur. I love building things, coming up with ideas and figuring out how to turn them into something real.
Part 2 - The first “Dual 10” Challenge: within the first 10 years post-license
Equilawbrium: Did you have a master plan for your career path? What was the driving force behind your career decisions? What are the important things to consider as you are figuring out your career path?
Aneka: I knew the kind of career I wanted to have, but I definitely did not have a master plan for how I was going to get there.
I knew I wanted to be a good lawyer. I wanted to do sophisticated, interesting work and build a reputation and a practice that were mine. But the actual path evolved enormously along the way.
I moved firms. I left private practice to go to the BC Securities Commission. I came back to private practice. Eventually, I left a top-tier commercial litigation boutique to start my own firm. None of those decisions were part of some ten-year plan.
The constant throughout was doing good work, building my credibility and building relationships. Over time, that gave me options and allowed me to make decisions based less on what I thought I was “supposed” to do and more on what I actually wanted my career and life to look like.
My advice is to have a sense of where you want to end up, but don't become so attached to a particular route that you miss the opportunities that might actually get you there. Careers are long. Things change. You change. Trust your instincts, do excellent work wherever you are and invest in your relationships
Equilawbrium: Please list one soft skill that contributed to where are you now and suggestions on how to cultivate it.
Aneka: Relationship building.
I think sometimes we talk about networking as though it is this separate activity lawyers have to force themselves to do. I have never really approached it that way. I genuinely like people. I stay in touch with people. I introduce people to each other. I refer work. I have coffees and lunches with people because I actually want to see them, not because I have calculated that they might send me a file one day.
Those relationships have led to work, of course, but also mentors, friendships, collaborations and opportunities.
Be interested in people and play the long game. Don't only reach out when you need something. Be generous with your own network. Over a ten-year career, those relationships compound in ways you can't possibly predict at the beginning
Equilawbrium: Please list one hard skill that contributed to where are you now and suggestions on how to cultivate it.
Aneka: I know this isn't technically a hard skill, but I think you have to be brave.
Litigation requires you to stick your neck out. You have to stand up in court and make the argument even when the judge may hate it. Sometimes you have to make a strategic decision knowing there is no perfect answer and that it might not work.
And sometimes you are going to get it wrong. Sometimes the judge is going to disagree with you. Sometimes you are going to get yelled at. You have to be able to survive that, learn from it and come back the next day.
You cultivate bravery by doing the scary things. Take the difficult application. Make the argument. Put yourself forward before you feel completely ready. You become braver every time you discover that even when something doesn't go perfectly, you are actually fine.
That doesn't mean being reckless. There is a difference between being thoughtful about risk and being afraid of it. Learning that difference is one of the most important skills you can develop as an advocate.
Part 3 - The second “Dual 10” Challenge: have kids in their first 10 formative years
Equilawbrium: How did you juggle work/life responsibilities? Is it possible to have a family life and a work life simultaneously and harmoniously?
Aneka: I do think it is possible, but I don't think it looks like balance every day.
There are weeks where work takes up an enormous amount of my time. There are days where something is happening with my son and work has to move around it. I stopped expecting every day, or even every week, to divide neatly into the right proportions a long time ago.
For me, the biggest thing has been having control over my time. Starting my own firm has been transformative because I probably work more than I ever have, but I have much more autonomy over when and how I do it.
I also think we need to be really honest about support. My husband is also a lawyer, and the two of us do a lot of juggling to make sure we can both have the kinds of careers we want while also being present parents.
One of the cardinal rules we made when we were expecting our son was that either one of us should be able to leave the house without giving any instructions to the other. We live and die by that rule. Neither of us should be the default parent who holds all of the information and has to download it to the other.
We also have consistent childcare in our home from 8:30 to 5:30 every weekday, which includes help with the little things that keep a household running, like laundry or picking up milk if we run out.
We made the decision early on to invest a significant amount of money into that support because we both wanted demanding legal careers. That was a trade-off. It changed how often we could go out for dinner, the kinds of holidays we could take and how often we could take them.
I have absolutely no issue with daycare. I just knew that I personally did not have the bandwidth to get a small child dressed and out the door every morning, manage a demanding litigation practice all day, and then absolutely have to be somewhere at a particular time every afternoon for pickup.
I think we do working mothers a disservice when we talk about “doing it all” without being transparent about what actually makes our lives work. There is no prize for making your life unnecessarily difficult. If you are fortunate enough to be able to get help, get the help that actually makes your life work.
Equilawbrium: Having walked the walk, what is the one parenting tip or trick that you wish you’d known?
Aneka: That each stage really doesn't last that long.
When you're in a particularly difficult stage, it can feel like this is just your life now. Your child isn't sleeping, they're going through some new phase, something that used to be easy has suddenly become impossible.
It will pass.
I wish I had understood that earlier and been a little better at just rolling with the punches. The hard stages aren't forever. And, of course, neither are the really wonderful ones.
Equilawbrium: What is one of your most cherished memories of your children at this age?
Aneka: There are honestly so many that it's hard to pick one. But there is this little thing my son does that I know I will remember forever.
When I leave for work, he stands on our front porch and waves at me and says, “Goodbye, Mama. Drive safe. Have a great day.” And he keeps saying it even after I'm out of sight. I can hear his little voice repeating it as I walk all the way down to the door to the parkade.
It's such a small, everyday moment, but I love it. I think those are the things I am going to miss the most as he gets older.
Part 4 - Achieving Equilawbrium: how to survive & rise from the “Dual 10” Challenges
"You are allowed to love your children enormously and still have an identity outside of motherhood." - Aneka Jiwaji
Equilawbrium: What was your biggest challenge going through the Dual 10 phase? Any advice for our readers who are living and breathing this phase and trying to survive and excel?
Aneka: Honestly, one of the things that surprised me most was how quickly some people can start to underestimate you once you become a mother.
There can be this assumption that you are going to take a step back. That you won't want the difficult file or demanding case. That you won't be as ambitious or as committed to your career. Sometimes it feels like people start counting you out before you have given them any reason to.
I think that's nonsense.
Becoming a mother did not make me less ambitious. If anything, it made me much clearer about what I wanted from my career and much less interested in wasting time on things that didn't matter.
My advice is not to internalize other people's assumptions about what motherhood is supposed to do to your career. You don't have to take a back seat because other people expect you to, and you certainly don't have to apologize for continuing to want a big career.
Motherhood changes a lot of things. It does not have to change how seriously you take your own ambition.
Equilawbrium: What is your take-home message for our readers who are trying to find their “equilawbrium”?
Aneka: You can still do it.
You can have children and continue to be ambitious about your career. But you also have to be realistic and practical about what it takes to make that possible. Build the support you need. Outsource where you can. Decide as a family what you are willing to prioritize and what you are willing to sacrifice during a particular stage of your lives.
And cut out some of the noise.
People have a lot of opinions about women and motherhood. How you should parent. What your priorities should be. What a “good mother” looks like. What you should be willing to give up once you have children. I genuinely try not to listen to much of it.
I've had women say to me, “I have a young child, so I can't travel for work anymore.” I don't subscribe to that for myself. When my son was little, people asked whether I was joining a mommy group. I didn't. It didn't particularly appeal to me. Becoming a mother did not mean that my entire identity suddenly had to revolve around being a mother.
The same applies to what your family is supposed to look like. There is so much noise about how many children you should have, the “right” age gap, whether your child needs a sibling, or when you should have the next one. Those are deeply personal choices. You don't have to make them according to somebody else's blueprint.
You are allowed to love your children enormously and still have an identity outside of motherhood. You are allowed to care deeply about your career. You are allowed to travel for work. You are allowed to decide that some of the things other mothers love simply aren't for you.
Part of what makes that easier for me is being deliberate about who I surround myself with. I have women in my life who support me and aren't spending their time judging my choices as a mother.
There isn't one correct way to be a good mother. Make the choices that work for your family, cut out as much of the noise as you can, and don't lose sight of the fact that you are still a whole person outside of being someone's mother.
You don't have to do everything yourself in order to say that you did it.
Equilawbrium: What is the one-word encouragement/support that you would want us to remember?
Aneka: Choice.
CHOICE
<<End of Fireside Chat with Aneka Jiwaji>>
**A MILLION THANKS TO ANEKA!!**
<<Aneka's Biography>>
Aneka Jiwaji is a commercial litigator and the co-founder and lead of the Barristers’ Practice at Jiwaji Law, a women-led law firm in Vancouver. Called to the British Columbia Bar in 2016, Aneka’s practice focuses on complex commercial disputes, securities litigation, and tax and intellectual property disputes. Before founding Jiwaji Law, she practised at leading litigation firms and served as litigation counsel with the British Columbia Securities Commission. Aneka is also a frequent speaker and contributor to the legal profession, particularly on issues affecting women in law, mentorship and the practice of litigation. Outside of law, she is an entrepreneur and co-founder of JAIA, a fine jewellery company she runs with her sisters. She is also the proud mom of a three-year-old son.
Disclaimer: Any views, information, and personal opinions expressed by the authors or guests are entirely their own and do not reflect or represent those of their employers or clients.
